«               »
10 January 2011, JellyBean @ 9:34 am

Only the highest order of idiots are nominated for the uncoveted Darwin Awards.

The Darwin Awards are awarded each year to the people who die in the most idiotic, weird, bizarre or perculiar ways possible.

According to Wendy Northcutt, the founder of the Darwin Awards: “The awards honour people who ensure the survival of the human race by removing themselves in a sublimely idiotic fashion.”

In order to be eligible for a Darwin, the nominee must be dead or rendered sterile, they must have demonstrated “astoundingly stupid judgment”, caused their own demise and been over the legal driving age and free of any mental impairments.

2010 has had its share of weird deaths, but top of the list is the South Korean man who used his wheelchair as a motorised battering ram against a lift door only for it to give way, allowing him to fall down the shaft and to his death.

Police say that this was an unfortunate accident caused by Mr. Lee’s anger at the elevator’s occupant not holding the door for Mr. Lee.

You can check out all the action here:

YouTube Preview Image

The one who came second place is called the ‘Textbook Double Double Darwin’:

Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?

That’s the whole picture: A young couple, driving along Via Dutra, the largest freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog.

The couple decided that this was the time to park (for “dating” according to the charming Google translation) and, yes, they parked on the freeway in the right-hand lane, not on the shoulder, the median, or at a gas station.

Naturally, given time a cargo truck encountered a “speed bump,” instantly killing both — during the act of procreation — double-double Darwin Award! (1) people making (2) obviously bad decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing. Textbook!

The third place winner is an unconfirmed story called ‘Glacier Erasure’:

In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a time, in order to cross the glacier.

Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he zipped, off the edge and out of sight.

Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he shouted out, “Are you OK?”

“Yes!” came the answer.

Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There, just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend…holding onto the top of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.

There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter lest our mothers soap our mouths.

For more Darwin Award 2010 goodness, head on over to the Darwin Awards site

Write a comment

You need tologin.

Level Beyond > WordPress platform, RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.